POSITIVE RITUALS OF ADOLESCENCES

It is obvious that being a teenager is very different these days than it was even five or 10 years ago, and that the world is a much more dangerous place to grow up in than it ever has been in the past. In the "old days" when children hit puberty, parents used to stand by them and teach them insights into healthy ways to develop a code of ethics about work, money, family, and friendships. Adults taught children about values, and how to think critically about what values would be important as they moved into adulthood.

Today, teens are in school most of the day, then in sports or activities for most of the evening. By the time they get home, they have time to eat dinner, study, watch some TV, and go to bed. There is not a lot of time in today's society for parents to spend quality time with their children, teaching them about values, work, or how to make good choices. This is not the fault of parents, who have to do their best to provide all kinds of facilities for their children and also spend as much time as they can with their children. It is the fault of our society and lifestyle, in which money and status have become the most important things that parents have to strive for resulting into neglecting children. Parents don't have time to imbibe good rituals in their children and this is the result of the growing frustration, anguish, drugs, crime and other vices in teenagers. It is the lack of these rituals that has led our youth into drugs, sex, and violence.

Every parent should try to combat the disrespect and revolting attitude amongst teenagers by allowing natural consequences to happen wherever possible. If a teen does something wrong in spite of your warning then you should let him go through the consequences of his actions instead of shielding him. By this way he will learn from his mistakes. Until we can create better transitions for adolescents, we need to find creative ways to deal with the rituals they've created for themselves. It is important to realize that even if we give them positive choices, they may sometimes opt to do something dangerous instead. We must be prepared to deal with this eventuality by allowing them to suffer the consequences of their actions. Much as we want to protect our children from harm and pain, it is a natural part of growing up. We need to be able to support them and help them learn from the decisions that they do make.

What is important is that every teenager has to pass through this phase. Adolescents have to take this journey and must strive towards distinction, rise above obstacles, overcome trials and temptations, quest after the great treasures life has hidden away. They have a need to prove themselves, which is totally natural and something that we should encourage. It is important though, that we as parents give them a positive choice in how to take this journey with positive results and face all obstacles with courage.