MONTH 12
Please
keep in mind that all babies are unique. Whether your
baby reaches milestones early or late, he has his
own developmental path to follow. The dividing lines
between these months are very fuzzy. If you have any
concerns or questions about your baby’s development,
please check with his health care provider.
The First Birthday Party
Congratulations!
Your baby is celebrating his first birthday this month!
And you have survived your first year of parenting.
You may feel that a gala is in order to mark this
special occasion.
Let’s
be honest -- the first party is just as much (if not
more) of a celebration for parents than it is for
baby. Try to remember that though he is a whopping
year old, he is still a baby.
If
he is on the sensitive side, a big celebration with
streamers, balloons, cake, and many happy adult faces
beaming at him may be all he needs to send him over
the edge into tears and clinginess. By all means,
we do want you to celebrate -- just be sure you plan
with baby in mind. Here are some tips to help make
a successful celebration for baby and you:
Try
to keep the number of guests to a manageable level.
The more bodies and voices, the more stress for you
and baby. If weather permits, host the party outside.
Babies love being outside without four walls to constrain
them.
Try
to resist opening gifts in front of all the other
children. Babies and toddlers have no impulse control.
These young guests have not developed the etiquette
to just "oooh" and "aaah" from their seats. If they
see a present that they must handle, there will be
an altercation for sure. If you must hire a clown,
musician or some sort of entertainment, respect baby’s
reaction. If he is scared, don’t expect him to overcome
this fear because it is his party. Hold and talk to
him about the performer and keep him at a safe distance.
Give
him a taste of his cake. Even you moms and dads who
are against offering sweets to baby can let down your
guard for this occasion. He is going to taste sugar
as some point; why not let his first birthday mark
this event? Some bakeries make very small cupcakes
which are easy for small hands to hold. Keep him to
his nap schedule. Try to plan the party so that he
can have his nap at the usual time. While this may
be impossible, it is a good way to avoid the tears
that so often crash his party.
You
need to have a good time too. As we mentioned, this
is also a celebration for you. Spending the whole
time doing food prep or cleaning is not our idea of
a party. Plan easy food -- maybe even splurge by ordering
prepared food -- so you can enjoy yourself with your
family and baby. Take photos or video to record this
day. This is a keeper for the memory books. Growing
Independence
As
your child is learning to do more things for himself,
you may notice a change in his attitude -- and your
own. He is no longer the small baby that longed to
be held in your arms for an indeterminate amount of
time. He is now on the move and only has time for
cuddles when it is on his terms.
He
is pushing himself to do even more things with his
body and at times becomes impatient if you do it for
him. But he also still wants 100 percent of your attention.
You may not be rushing to him every time he calls
out. Naturally, you feel that the time has come for
him to learn that you have things to do as well, and
sometimes he’ll have to wait. Patience is one of life’s
hardest lessons.
Limit Setting
As
we have been emphasizing, part of your child's job
is to explore and discover new things in his world.
Sometimes, this can lead to dangerous situations and
get him into trouble. Consistency in setting limits
is a crucial part of parenting.
Setting
limits ultimately keeps him safe; he must learn that
within the outside world there are hazards that he
must learn to avoid. Also, he will learn the skills
to interact considerately and respectfully with others.
In short, he can’t always get his way.
Instead
of telling him what he cannot do in a situation, try
to steer him to an alternative -- something that is
safer and acceptable for him to explore. Or, give
him a few choices of activities so he can feel more
in control of his actions.
Transitional Objects
Many
of us fondly remember our special "lovies," the items
we clung to when we were young to help us through
difficult situations. These lovies can take the form
of a blanket, doll, stuffed animal, or maybe something
else -- as long as it holds special meaning to your
child.
Experts
use the term "transitional object" to refer to lovies
because they support children going through transitions,
such as having a new babysitter or going to a new
childcare setting. They remind the child of safety,
security and love that is felt at home and within
the arms of a loving parent.
Do you have a Linus in your
family?
This
is probably not the best time to start separating
your child from his transitional object, as many children
are peaking in separation and stranger anxiety about
now. But, you may be tired of watching your child
drag his blanket across the room, the yard -- around
town. There are strategies that parents have used
to prevent this from happening.
One
of the most successful tactics includes setting specific
times for when the special object is to be used such
as bedtime, when saying goodbye to mommy and daddy,
if sad, after taking a tumble, etc. Other times during
the day, keep the blanket in a specific spot so your
child can access it if needed. Some parents have made
a small swatch of the blanket for their kids to hold
and carry with them but without dragging. Or, you
may not care and not have a problem with baby dragging
the blanket. Whatever you decide, be consistent.
One Nap
Around
twelve months (or more likely in the next few months),
you’ll notice baby starting to change his nap schedule.
He is transitioning to one long nap per day. He may
start to push the morning nap later, and then refuse
to go down for a second one in the afternoon. Or,
he may settle down for the morning nap at the usual
time but sleep for longer.
Some
babies adapt in one day to the new nap routine and
others take months. You may have to step in and keep
him up later in the morning so that he can settle
down for a good long nap in the afternoon. This may
provide some fussiness in the late morning since he
is tired.
Also,
children can develop a routine based on when others
are napping at childcare. Talk to your childcare provider
about his changing nap routine. Pretty soon, you’ll
be able to put your feet up for a good two hours in
the afternoon at a predicable time -- everyday.
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